Control- Cyndi

Prompt: A time someone lost control 4/28/07

Control. What could she control in her life anymore? The elderly woman gingerly stooped down, slowly testing her knees. There was a time when she felt like she was able to have control. When her children were young and she was the primary influence in their lives. Each day she led them in new adventures as they explored the world around them. She picked up her trowel and put on her gardening gloves. But they were grown and gone now. All of them moved away. She couldn’t even control when they talked to each other. They were always busy when she called or they ended up just leaving voice mail, playing phone tag.

She pushed down deep into the soft earth feeling it give way. She loved the feel of the soil as it crept into her gloves through the well worn holes. Her husband was long gone. She used to be in charge of planning their days- from appointments to lunch dates and time away. She had been the schedule keeper. All that is over and done now, she thought. What do I have left to plan for now? She picked up one of the potted plants, turning the container over in her hands and letting it drop out of its confinement. “Here you go”, she said to the young flower. “Welcome to your new home.” She placed it carefully in the space she had carved out for it.

Even her dog had passed on, so she didn’t have a companion to accompany her on walks through the park anymore. Friends came and went but there was no one close enough to count on. This is my life now and she pondered how to spend the rest of her day.

A few more impatience, and maybe some begonias, geraniums, daisies and of course the pansies. Her garden was not a neat orderly array of blooms separated by species or even organized by colors. It was a hodgepodge assortment- all mixed together. That is the way she liked it. The world is not all neat and orderly- but mixtures of people, cultures, class- all thrown together to somehow survive and thrive. And so her garden also reflected this style. A splash of yellow marigold here, the red rose bush on the side, the purple asters mixed in throughout and even some orange cosmos- although not her favorite, they were needed to bring balance.

At least she could still tend lovingly to this plot of land, coaxing bountiful life out of it. This was her gift and she supposed this is what she could still retain control over. It brought joy to her heart each time she walked up the sidewalk or stood looking out her window. And it was also a gift to those who lived nearby. The walkers and joggers would call out to her, offering their compliments. She had also seen the cars slowing down, the drivers taking a small moment out of their hurried lives to point out to their children the wonder in bloom in her yard. Yes, this was the one thing left that was still in her control and she would continue to work in her garden.

-Cyndi