Oil Changing - JohnD

Prompt: Oil Changing - 03/07/09

Maria: I’m sorry that I’m gong to be gone for three weeks. It’s a long time. But you can run the kitchen just fine. Right, Fraedo?

Fraedo: I, I, uh, yeah, I don’t know. What did you just add there?

Maria: Safron.

Fraedo: How much?

Maria: Two shakes or so.

Fraedo: Two shakes? Jeez Maria, your style of “not measuring” is wonderful. I mean, you’re the most celebrated chef in the city. But I don’t think I’m going to be able to duplicate that style, especially not by Monday. Wait, what’s that you just added? Oh, olive oil.

Maria: No, it’s sesame seed oil.

Fraedo: But the bottle is labeled “olive oil.”

Maria: Oh yeah. That’s old. There’s sesame seed oil in it now.

Fraedo: That’s extremely confusing. But, anyway, you add sesame seed oil? How much?

Maria: A quick stream, most of the time. And by the way, it’s only sesame seed oil today.

Fraedo: A quick stream? Most of the time? That’s going to be kinda tough to repeat. And what do you mean “it’s only sesame seed oil today”?

Maria: When it comes to measurements, it’s kind of like sex: you have to do what feels right at the time, so I change the oil I use for this dish pretty much every day.

Fraedo: Hold up. Hold up! Maria, I don’t want to make any comparison between measuring ingredients and sex. And also, How the hell can you use a different oil each time to make the same dish?

Maria: Fraedo, you can’t look at this simply as cooking. You’re making love here. You have to have passion, spontaneity. Canola oil, grape seed oil: whatever the situation calls for. Cooking, love making: wild, sensitive, dirty, casual, heart-felt sex. It’s all the same.

Fraedo: Stop, stop, stop! It is not the same. I don’t cook that way.

Maria: Well, then maybe you don’t belong here, Fraedo.

Fraedo: Yeah, maybe I don’t.

Maria: Okay then, you’d better go. But if you ever change your mind, come back. You and I will have sex right here on the kitchen floor, but only if you can do it passionately. And maybe you’ll be ready then to be a world-class chef.