Death - JohnD

Death came to the coffee shop, I guess. I don't know. She said she was death. What do I know. She started talking about the apocalypse.

"I've come to wipe out the human race," she said. La-di-da, la-di-da. She went on and on. Seemed real upset with humans in general.

"Let me finish my coffee here and I'll help you," I told her.

"Does it look like I need your help?"

"Sure, why not?" I said. "Everyone needs help sometime or another."

Red lasers shot out from her eyes and stopped two inches from my face. I could feel the heat and it wasn't comfortable at all.

"Okay, never mind," I said. "You're very attractive, but a bit too dark for my liking."

"Attractive? You think I'm attractive even though I'm going to wipe out the human race?"

"Well what does one thing have to do with the other? I mean you've got a job to do. That's fine. You're still good looking, very good looking."

"I don't know" she answered, running her hand through her long blonde hair. She looked at me sincerely, her eyes returning to their lovely green. "Humans for the most part consider me evil."

"Well that's ridiculous. You're death. Without death, this planet wouldn't last a week."

"Right, that's exactly right... You really find me attractive, though?"

"Yes, and look I'm done with my coffee."

"So you want to help me with the apocalypse?"

"Yeah sure."

With that we left and went to my place, but we never got around to starting the apocalypse. She had to go the next morning. I wonder how she's coming along with that whole apocalypse thing.